The Gunny 19Oct-27Oct

Faithful Followers..

The last two days at work..no the last month if not longer have been as hectic as they've ever been. When I was on a different program I worked hard but this new effort is truly testing me and my co-workers. I've got my Dad and other friends telling I need to slow down but I can't. I understand I'm sick but as I've said in the past I don't intend to let this define me. Not to mention I feel whole when I'm working. The difference between what I'm doing now and what I've done in the past is the level of oversight we currently have being directed our way. The efforts we are looking at providing to operational forces is truly leading edge technology and I'm excited about it if we can get all key players to align and work to a common goal.

I started this posting on the 19th and as the aforementioned paragraph states I am engrained in my work. But based on the Marine Corps Marathon being this Sunday and me finally getting the second version of the "The Gunny's Team" t'shirt finally screen printed..I needed to make some time to get this on line.. Plus solicit for more assistance in my fundraising efforts.

Before I get to far down the path.. I do want to update my goings-on for the past week as best as I can remember..

Most importantly is the kids had their homecoming weekend this past weekend. Football was Friday and Saturday was the big dance... Maddie had a date and had been asked in grand fashion weeks earlier and as for Jake he waited until Thursday to ask a young lady. Now the fun part was Friday Jake decided to be a horse's butt in school which I won't go into details but it was good enough that warranted his mom and I to punish him. Luckily for him he had a date or he may not have gone to the dance either. Nonetheless, both kids went with their respective dates and based on what they shared a good time was had by all.

Sunday was a lazy day watching football and doing regular chores..

Monday and Tuesday though it all started back over again.. First thing Monday I spent going to a VA medical appointment as part of the med board process then had Kristine drive me down to Quantico for work which was a day and half summit for the effort we are currently pursuing. Needless to say very long days but by the end of Tuesday we came away with some much needed information so we can continue to move forward and develop a critical path to get us there..today was no different of being stuck in more meetings and away from the office..hence why I'm finally getting around to this at this late hour.

I've attached some photos to this post which depicts the new t'shirt. As a reference, both kids are wearing adult smalls.. Jake is 5'10 and weighs 150..and Maddie is 5'6..

If any of you are interested in getting one please leave a comment with how many you want, size, and an address. Kristine has a paypal account for Ebay which we are exploring to determine if it can be used to pay for you order. If interested and want to support, the money will go towards the fundraiser.. Shirts are $20 each or 2 for 30. If you order 3..you'll still have to pay one @ the $20 dollar rate but would get the other 2 for $30.

Always Faithful

The Gunny

The Gunny 16Oct10

Well the last two days have been pretty hectic. Yesterday I got to spend the whole day enjoying the VA/MD/DC transit systems as I maneuvered from two separate locations attending two medical appointments. First appointment was a follow-up from my recent readmission to the hospital. It didn't start off well as I arrived and they had me scheduled for the 18th but it showed that appointment had been canceled and rescheduled to the 25th. Needless to say I was already not happy with my diagnosis a couple of weeks prior and the fact that I can't currently drive this just made matters worst. I went down stairs to WRAMC patient advocacy office and explained the situation and shared I expected to be seen..the young lady which helped me has a difficult job because I'm not sure how many times a day she has to deal with patients that are unhappy and although I was not angry with her I did express my dissatisfaction with the current situation. She has been well trained and was able to get me to relax and said she would get me in to see a doctor but needed to know how long I could stay before I had to leave to make my next appt downtown DC.
She came through as promised and I went back to the 6th floor where I would be seen by a different physician new to my case but was very thorough with going over my history as well as giving me a better understanding of what the tests (EEG and PET Scan) which were conducted when I was readmitted. Although the MRI images didn't show any changes it appears the PET scan did show some changes from the previous scan done back in April before I had the surgery. The doctor advised since I'm being followed by Dr. Fine at the NIH he wasn't going to make any recommendations or assessments without letting Fine see the PET images first. So for the next two weeks I'll be on pins and needles as I wait to see Dr. Fine and his staff again. I'm not going to speculate but it is quite possible treatment beyond the serial MRI monitoring will now change to chemotherapy but only time will tell.
From there I went to a bistro near the metro station and did some work while I waited for a couple of hours before my next appointment which was at the VA Medical Center. These appointments are only for their doctors to confirm all conditions I'm claiming for VA compensation. Once these appointments are completed all the reports are compiled and then presented to a medical board which is what I'm going through currently to determine if I go out on retirement as planned or be medically retired. Not much difference between the two and the key reason I asked to be med boarded was to have the VA and government to determine what my VA rating would be which does have some monetary value. Kristine dropped me off at the metro at 07:15 and Maddie would pick me up at 5:20..a long day.

Maddie and Jake and some of there friends would go to the high school varsity game. Beforehand though they were all at the house and it truly is enjoying to interact with them all. I can't be more proud of Maddie and Jake's accomplishments to this point and the choice of their friends.

Today, I participated in the Eagle 5K which is a fundraiser for Maddie's cross-country team..it's with sadness and joy that I must admit Maddie has dethroned her "old man" in running. I ran a respectable time 22:55; however, Maddie ran 22:30 on Wednesday during a cross-country meet. Afterwards I would leave from the school and do another 12 miles to get my necessary long run of 15+ miles scheduled as part of my MCM training plan.
I have a ritual of sitting in a tub of ice water to help keep swelling down after long runs beyond 13 and today was no different; however, it was a cold day and I've had a chill most of the day.
Kristine and Maddie went to Anne Arrundel Mall to get my baby girl a homecoming dress. One Caraway has a date while the other is looking for one..he's such a good looking young man but his mouth is a turn-off to many of the girls.

Tomorrow will be spent doing chores and watching our Colts take on the Skins and give them a scalping unlike what the Cowboys tried to accomplish on Week 1..

Take care and 'Always Faithful'
JD

The Gunny's Fight Part II (12Oct10)

Hey Gang,

As promised I'm writing to provide you a link to the website for my latest fund raising event. It can be found at the following URL:
http://fundraising.livestrong.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=325373&lis=0&kntae325373=DE0FAAE120434FE1890EC4DFB92013BA

On that site you can make a donation and also go to "The Gunny's Team" page. As soon as I get the shirts screen printed I will provide pics on this site and will take orders..all monies received will go towards the foundation I'm supporting.

Because I can't drive for another 5 1/2 months due to the seizure...I had to work from home for the first half of the morning and then spent the rest of the afternoon commuting the VA/DC transit systems to get to the VA Med Ctr. The appointments are routine in nature and only meant to confirm the claims I'm submitting compensation from the VA are in fact valid and since I'm going through a MedBoard process they are not only investigating the tumor but all aches and pains I've submitted as pre-existing conditions. Today's appointment was with podiatry and as it would turn out my feet are all jacked up..hammer toes, high arches..(go figure), heel spurs, plantar fasciitis...but I refuse to quit running.

I'm going to digress for a moment..ironically I was diagnosed with this last finding the same weekend after I returned from the OAG....it was good to see so many people within the community; however, I had this same experience the weekend after the spring ESAG which occurred in April and two days later I was diagnosed with the brain tumor. Not sure what the message is here but I wouldn't change one thing and glad I've had the opportunity to see many peers/colleagues and friends..

Once again please pass the word on the blog and the link to the foundation website..

23K in three weeks was impressive in April/May let's do it again and reach the 30K goal and give me the motivation to finish this 26.2 strong..

Always Faithful...The Gunny

New information from the "The Gunny"

Hey Gang,

The 'mad blogger' is back..

Long time...4 months to be exact since I last posted an update. Primarily because I was on what I believed to be on a long road of healthy living again. I've had lots of folks call/email or pass through other friends that they check the blog but noticed I hadn't updated. I just wasn't sure what to write and not for sure you wanted to track my every day happenings. For those who have been monitoring the site thanks I tend to forget this not only affected me and my family but all of you as well because of the bonds/friendships we have developed over the years and I'm truly humbled.

I wish I could tell you I'm writing today to catch you up on the past 4 months unfortunately it appears I've had a small setback. On the 18th of Sept I was readmitted back to Walter Reed Army Med Center (WRAMC) for observation. The previous evening I had a headache like I hadn't experienced ever!! I must admit it was a pretty stressful day at work which was weighing heavily on my mind while I stood and watched the Edison varsity football game play that evening. As the game was winding down I was helping Kristine move tables back into the concession stand which as a member of the boosters club supports all home games by working..anyhow I explained I had a headache behind my left eye and since I was wearing contacts I was going to head home because I just didn't feel good and get my contacts out.

Maddie and Jake were both at the game but with Maddie driving and has her own wheels I knew she was good to go; however, Jake's best bud 'Michael' who plays on the Varsity was staying with us for the weekend while his parents went down to Boone, NC (Appalachian St) to watch Caitlin play field hockey. As it would turn out it was not a good weekend for either Cait or I..more on that to follow. Anyhow, as I was telling Kristine I was leaving and making sure she had the boys I was having difficulty getting Michael's name out..neither of us thought much of it at the time. Came home got my contacts out and laid down with TV on and easily fell off to sleep, which I had a good nights sleep. Unfortunately the next morning I still had a headache but not as sharp.. night before it was reaching an 8 out of 10 scale and the next morning it was only a 2-3..decided at that time to take some Tylenol but all we had was Tylenol PM which just knocked me out.. Kristine woke me up at noon because she didn't want me to sleep the day away. I must admit I was still pretty groggy but the headache had subsided....conscious decision was to lay around and watch college football. Kristine would lay around and nap while I watched games; however, as we prepared dinner that evening my headache was returning but not at level it had the night prior; therefore, we decided it was wise to head up to WRAMC to get checked out based on my recent history with the tumor.

We checked into the ER and for those of you know Kristine she doesn't mess around and I felt sorry for the charge nurse because she was quick to point out get the lead neurologist down because there was going to be little they could do. I settled her down and let him go through the procedures just for him and the lead ER doc to inform us they were awaiting the neuro dept to send down a representative. ER charge nurse was a good guy and realize he has a bureaucratic process he had to follow..you have to love the bureaucracy which is meant to make our lives easier but in reality it doesn't. Anyhow, the doc came in ran me through a series of tests and based on my history thought it would be best to admit me for observation.

I got wheeled up to a familiar ward (58), changed into their sexy garments, and given an explanation on what to expect that evening/early morning hours which included an MRI to make sure the "Tumor" was not growing or exhibiting any new changes or bleeding.
You can all breathe easier "tumor" is just as it was on May 17th during my first MRI after surgery and my first quarterly MRI on August 2nd.

Here is where the story really begins.. During my wait to be seen by an ER doc there were key words that are often said by patients, nurses and docs alike. As Kristine and I sat there I wondered aloud if there had ever been a thesis paper ever written on doing a study of a study..or something to that effect. Kristine remembers having that discussion and it made sense at the time but for the life of us both we really can't remember what I was referring to. Meanwhile after admission I made a conscious decision to stay up and watch movies since I knew they would come get me in the middle of the night for the MRI which of course they did at 3 a.m. Even on the way down I was talking to the wheel chair attendant I had a great idea and even shared the same sentiments with the MRI tech..as I look back on it I really wish I could remember what I was trying convey..the reasons why will be explained in context here shortly.

After my return from the MRI I continued to watch classic movies "Charlie Wilson's War" and "Coyote Ugly" :-). As I watched the movies I was enjoying the sarcasm and irony being displayed and in the process put an email together for my last supervisor Brian Rideout to let him know I was back in the hospital but also to share my good idea about a great thesis topic..which unfortunately I can't remember nor did my email to him in which I sent at 7:10 Sunday morning make much sense which would later add more fuel to the doctor's fire and his diagnosis.

I would continue to stay awake Sunday. Kristine and Madalyn came to see me and visit and we walked down to have lunch in the cafeteria. I had all my cognitive skills, know who they are, can carry on a conversation and found myself extremely witty. I found myself trying to show and explain away that I was okay to Kristine and Maddie and as it would turn out only frightened them more. Hindsight being 20/20 it is my belief I was probably going through a stage of delirium due to the lack of sleep over the past 24 plus hours and despite how funny and witty I thought I was being Kristine was done.. For those who know her understand she has a great sense of humor; however, when she is done she will let you know. I didn't heed those warnings and kept on pushing my humor..all the while all I was trying to do was demonstrate I had all my faculties about me and that we were just being overly cautious. Kristine and I have an ability to get our sick sense of humor but for whatever reason she wasn't having any part of it this day. Maddie did find me humorous at first but when I continued to push her to her limit I didn't realize I was alienating them and what further repercussions lay ahead.

I didn't get a visit from the neurologist and his team of residents until later that afternoon (4:00) and just before he came into the room Kristine was able to grab him and share her concerns and what she perceived to be weird behavior on my part. That behavior was the overuse of making PUNS and finding hidden meanings like you would in a personalized license plate. I just couldn't let it go though.. I also misused the word "moniker" which I was describing as a play on words..although no-one not even the docs corrected..not sure if they knew the meaning or just agreed and continued to make their diagnosis. Despite no changes to the Tumor they made a pre-determined diagnosis that I had a "complex partial seizure". I didn't seize up and hit the ground, try to bite my tongue off, uncontrollable itching or eye blinking which is common to what most folks believe a seizure is.. Anyhow they brought in the on-call EEG tech to hook me up to the machine and get brain waive measurements to rule out or confirm the seizure. Docs would come back in later Sunday evening as I was finally starting to doze off just to tell me they were going to leave me hooked up overnight because the results at the time were inconclusive. There were some irregular brain waive spikes but he couldn't 100% confirm that I had a "complex partial seizure" and it was a good possibility the spikes were a result of me currently having a tumor, the recent surgery I had and/or the scarring as a result of the surgery. After a full night of further observation while being strapped to the EEG machine the results were no different nothing significant and nothing glaring that proved without a doubt I had a seizure. Needless to say the lead neurologist was not going to be swayed from his original diagnosis and was basing his findings based on his experience. I argued and expressed I didn't buy into the findings; however, he was quick to use my own experience as imagery analyst in making difficult calls on satellite imagery based on previous experience and expertise over a long period of time.

Now comes the difficult part of why I'm struggling with this finding and recent setback. Because I'm in the military and now diagnosed with a seizure my driving privileges were taken away for 6 months. Plus I get to take an anti-seizure medicine called Keppra which could have some harmful side affects and although I shared my concerns about them the medical team explained it was the safest medicine on the market and that this is drug companies being overly cautious which I believe the docs at this time are being as well. This team of doctors at WRAMC are a different crew than who dealt with the original finding and conducted the surgery.. Dr. Cooper is a neurosurgeon..while Dr. Cannard is a neurologist and he just never established good bedside manner with me and coupled with the news and restrictions he placed on me I'm going to be a little mule headed for the time being.

I'm still working with an unknown retirement date because I'm now going through a Medical Evaluation Board to have the VA provide me disability rating if one at all plus determine if I should be medically retired or since I've already reached 20 to go ahead and retire. It's a process and what I once thought was going be completed by end of year my last medical appointment isn't until 23Dec10 so I don't envision the MedBoard to review my package until sometime in late January and issue the finding until February..at which time I can then determine how many days of leave I have remaining on the books plus permissive TAD and all other benefits I can take advantage of and resubmit for my exit day..which will have to be the last day of a month but at this time I'm not sure what month.

In the meantime I get to see Dr. Howard Fine from the NIH at the beginning of November for my next serial MRI if not sooner and plan to ask him to review the findings and determine if he agrees and have one of his neurologists he trust to review and if they agree well then I'm going to treat this 6 months just like a deployment and hope the medicine will preclude me from ever having another seizure. If he doesn't agree then I'm hoping to use him as the renowned expert in the brain community to help coerce Dr. Cannard to reconsider and reinstate my driving privileges. For now Kristine and I get up early and she drops me off about 6 miles down the road where I carpool in with my boss (Jen). She is a new hire to MarCorSysCom and is being more than accommodating for a project we currently are managing we have a very lean team so we get to strategize on our commute down and then on our way home we talk about what we did right or wrong. Jen thank you for letting me to remain in the fight at work although many of you reading this think I've lost my mind and should be relaxing and be trying to get well..it is my gut feeling that I would go nuts just sitting at home wondering what lays ahead. As I said months ago I have no intention of letting the brain tumor define me nor am I going to let this recent setback do the same. I wake up every morning look in the mirror and have a scar that is visible only on the side of my head based on my haircut that reminds me of the tumor plus because I now take Keppra it reminds me I'm susceptible to seizures; however, I use those reminders to stay focused on living and how lucky I am.

Life can all change at a given moment as it did for me on April 9th when I was first diagnosed with a tumor in the head but I'm still alive today and I promise each and every one of you I'm going to live my life to the fullest with no regrets. So as I bring this post to a close I wanted to ask each of you to take a moment and reflect and ask yourselves are you living...don't just go through the motions..enjoy every day for whatever it brings whether it's good or bad..because you never know when the lights will go out.

I will be posting a new blog tomorrow with information on my latest fundraising event..where I will be running in this years Marine Corps Marathon. I know your all thinking I really am nuts but I can't drive because I'm a risk to others but I can PT/run which I'm not near as fast as I've been in past years but I'm doing this because I set this as a goal back in April and now even more determined after my recent diagnosis.

Please pass the blog site to all your friends/co-workers to help out and be a part of the "The Gunny's Team"..'I Can Therefore I Will"....

God Bless you all..